I Messed Up
by luveverythingtv
Summary: "I knew I was wrong. I knew this would hurt her if she found out, I knew Nicky would be pissed at me, I knew all of this but… none of that seemed to matter in that moment." I know the summary sucks but I couldn't think of anything without giving stuff away. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

I knew I was wrong. I knew this would hurt her if she found out, I knew Nicky would be pissed at me, I knew all of this but… none of that seemed to matter in that moment.

I was fucking her in my bed. She was moaning and groaning, scratching my shoulders and slamming her hand against the headboard.

I wanted her to cum so she would leave. I turned my head to the clock on the bedside table and sighed in relief, I still had time. Thank God I didn't give her a key to my place yet.

I then focused my attention on finishing Michelle? Danielle? Whatever.

I starting lapping at her clit as my fingers picked up speed. Just as she climaxed she slammed her legs shut and grabbed my hair holding me in place. When she finally came down from her high she was looking at the ceiling chuckling, "Fuck babe, that was fucking amazing."

She then went to look at me but her attention seemed to be behind me. She opened her mouth to say something but she just slowly sat up and pulled a pillow up to cover herself.

I was confused so I looked at her for a second before turning my head. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck….

I could hear Michelle.. Danielle. whatever moving around gathering her clothes. I quickly grabbed the sheets off the bed and wrapped them around my naked body. I wanted her to say something, yell, do something, anything; but she just looked at me with hurt eyes, shaking her head.

Before the girl behind me could bolt someone else came into the room. Nicky looked between me and the girl and growled.

I went to try and explain but she just coldly said, "Shut the fuck up. Don't say a goddamn word."

Nicky then turned to Piper and wiped away her tears, "Hey, Chapman. Piper, hey come on lets go."

Piper blinked and looked at the girl behind me standing awkwardly. Piper then sobbed, turned around, and walked out of the room.

I took a step to follow her but Nicky pushed me backwards, almost hard enough to make me fall backwards.

Nicky shook her head and said, "Stay away Vause."

Nicky then took her keys out and took the emergency key I had given her and threw it onto the ground where is slid and stopped right at my feet.

I could hear her steps quieting and then the door slam closed. The girl behind me put her hand on my arm and asked, "Hey, Alex you ok?"

My head was still down looking at the key on the ground. I mumbled, "Get out."

She leaned closer and said, "What. I couldn't hear you."

I looked up at her and sternly said, "Get Out…" She paused for a second and went to say something but I just took a step into her personal space and yelled, "Get the fuck Out, Now! Get Out!"

She jumped and damn near sprinted to the door, slamming it closed behind her.

I looked around my empty loft and screamed, "FUCK!" I looked down at the sheet that I was wrapped in and threw it to the ground, almost like it burned. I then looked at my bed and grabbed the sheets and the pillowcases off the bed. I felt disgusting.

I ran to the bathroom and turned the hot water on in the shower. When the mirror started to fog up I got in. The water was burning my skin but I barely felt it. I took a quick shower and thew on some clothes.

When I exited the bathroom I saw by sheets on the ground, they made me sick. I grabbed them and threw them into a garbage bag, and threw them into the hallway.

I looked around the loft and felt my heart constrict, Piper wasn't here. She left. She left in tears. I did that. I looked around and my eyes fell to my bookshelf where a picture of Piper and I stood. I grabbed the picture and looked at it.

As I was looking a water droplet hit the glass and rolled down the picture to the edge of the frame.

Before I knew it I was sobbing, crying, hunched over, unable to breathe. I then scrambled up to grab my phone off the coffee table.

I grabbed my phone and scrolled through the text messages that were there. 2 texts from Fahri letting me know that the latest delivery was delayed. 3 texts from Piper and Nicky and 2 phone calls. I unlocked my phone and listened to the voicemail. "Hey baby, sorry I missed your calls. I was in a meeting with the sales department. Oh and I ran into Nicky this afternoon, she and I are going to dinner and to that new bar on 50th street, if you wanna come. Are you home? I left my boots at yours, the black ones. Ok. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"Hey babe, Nicky is going to let me into your place since you don't seem to be home. She says she has a key. Promise to be in and out. Talk soon. By Al."

I sobbed and clutched my phone. I opened my messages and sent Piper a text, "I am so so so sorry. Baby please, I'm sorry. I swear never again. Please! Please come back."

The response was almost instant, "I already told you Vause, stay the fuck away from her. Don't call.. I mean it."

I knew it was Nicky responding. I knew how protective Nicky was over Piper. I understood Piper is Nicky best friend, basically her sister.

I started at a number and finally pushed dial. The phone rang and rang, just before I was about to hang up the voice I needed to hear answered, "Hello? Alex? That you?"

I tried to answer but only a sob was released, "Ma…"

Diane shuffled around, I could hear her sit on our old couch, "Al. Alex? What's wrong? What happened?"

I tried to get my tears under control but my voice came out croaky and dry, "I.. I fucked.. I fucked up.. and now she's gone. Ma, she's gone."

I heard my mom move around again, "Alex what happened? Is Piper ok?"

Just hearing her name brought tears and a stinging to the back of my throat.

I shook my head and croaked out, "I hurt her Ma.. She saw. And Nicky saw. And they left."

I heard my mom pause and gasp, "You.. Alexandra… What did you do?"

I sobbed and just said it, "I cheated. Fuck, Ma, I cheated on Piper."

She sighed and said, "Alex.. what happened? I thought you two were good? You told me just last week that you loved her."

I groaned and rubbed my face, "I know.. I just… I was at the diner after a meeting and I was upset. Piper wasn't answering and she was there. I just vented, it felt good. I was going to leave but I didn't think… I just I wanted to feel good. So I took her home. I didn't think Piper would show up. I never meant to hurt her. I swear."

I waited for my mom's reply, "Alex. That is some bullshit. You knew it would hurt her. You knew damn well. Now tell me the truth, why? why do it?"

I knew she was right, "I was scared. Mom, I have never felt this way about anyone… ever. Ma what if she doesn't love me back?"

"So hurt her before she hurts you? That your logic Alex? That girl might not have said it yet but she loves you. A blind person could tell you that. Listen to me and listen to me good. You do whatever you have to to get her back. You don't always find a love like that Al. You hear me?!"

I nodded knowing she was right, "Yeah, Ma. I hear you. But what if she doesn't give me another chance. What if I have lost her?"

Diane sighed and said, "Then sadly Al, you're gonna have to live with the fact that you let this one go."

Hearing that made it set in that I could actually lose Piper for good. I then quickly stood up and said, "I gotta go Ma. I'll talk to you soon" and hung up.

I rushed out of the loft and down to the garage to get my car. I needed to see Piper.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Italics section is a memory/dream

* * *

Of course there was traffic, but I finally parked outside of Piper's apartment and ran up the stairs to her place. I took a breath and gathered courage. I knocked on her door and waited. I could hear movement in the apartment and knocked again.

The door then swung open. I was expecting Piper, but instead was met with redish blonde bushy hair. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed, "Nicky… please. I just want to talk with her."

Nicky scoffed, "Well maybe she doesn't want to talk to you."

I shifted my weight and said, "I know. But please, I know. I know I messed up, and I hurt her. But I made a mistake."

Nicky took a step forward, "You know you hurt her. She is broken because of you! I have never seen her like this! I told you not to hurt her. I specifically told you to not hurt her. I shouldn't have trusted you!"

That one hurt, I knew Nicky was protective but she always trusts me.. well she always used to trust me. "I know. But you can trust me, I swear. Please just let me talk to her."

Nicky was going to say something but someone rounded the corner and called out, "Nicky who's there?"

I quickly pushed past Nicky and into the apartment. When I entered I saw Piper standing there in a grey oversized Smith College sweatshirt. I started to walk towards her but she just took a step back.

I could feel the tears threatening to spill, "Pipes please. I made a huge, catastrophic, fucked up mistake. I swear on my life that I will never ever do that you again. Please just give me a second chance. Please."

Piper was crying, "You, you made a mistake. huh? You mistakenly FUCKED someone else. What you confused her with me? You accidentally allowed someone into your bed?! You accidentally CHEATED on me!? Bullshit Alex. Fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU ALEX!"

I was trying to hide my tears but it wasn't working, "Pipes, please. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry! Oh that makes everything alright, Alex Vause is Sorry! God I am so stupid! I mean seriously I knew, I knew you didn't do relationships. Maybe this is my fault. Maybe I expected too much of you. Maybe I expected you to be a decent person and just break up with me before you fucked someone else. Maybe I thought you actually cared about me. I don't know, but it doesn't really matter. Just.. just leave Alex."

I tried to take a step but Nicky blocked me, "Piper please! I do care about you! I don't want to break up with you! Please, please just one more chance. PLEASE!"

Piper just looked back at me and shook her head, "And to think, I was gonna tell you I loved you." She didn't wait for my reaction, just walked back down the hall and closed her door.

That broke me, I couldn't stop, "PIPER! PLEASE! I'M SO SORRY! PIPER! PIPES! PLEASE!"

I clutched my stomach and bent over trying to catch my breath.

Nicky paused but put a comforting hand on my shoulder, "Hey come on Vause."

I looked up at Nicky and this time didn't see anger, but sadness and remorse was there. "Please Nicky. Please talk to her. Please. I love her."

Nicky sighed, "I know Vause. And I think I know why you fucked that other chick, but that doesn't make up for the fact that you did it. Look, I'm going to spend the night here, but I'll be by yours tomorrow. And you better tell me the damn truth, or I walk out and never look back. I mean it Vause."

I nodded and took a few breaths, "ok. ok."

I stood up straight and went back towards the door. Nicky followed and closed the door behind me.

* * *

I made it back to my loft and couldn't even look at my bedroom. I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. I left whatever was on since I wasn't paying attention anyway, I just needed the noise.

I laid down and clutched the throw pillow that Piper loved, it smelled like her. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

 _I was talking with Nicky about my latest hook up when Nicky got a phone call. "Hey! Chapman! What's good!? That sucks! Yeah, yeah. Of Course, hey chill dude. You're my sister from another mister, alright. I'll txt you the address. Alright see you soon."_

 _I looked at Nicky questions on my face, "Hot date?"_

 _She scrunched up her nose and said, "Eeww, fuck no! Chapman is my sister, known her since we were in diapers. Her mom and my Wicked Witch of the West were friends."_

 _I laughed and said, "Great. So another Nicky. What, is she a hobbit with a wild mane as well?"_

 _Nicky just laughed and punched me in the arm, "No. Chapman.. She… you know what, you'll find out later. She is going to meet us later tonight. She is staying at my place for a few days, until her apartment is ready."_

 _Alex smiled and nodded._

 _They had been at the bar talking to two ladies telling them a story about how they were a part of an International Drug Cartel and that they were in the bar looking for new, young, hot mules to travel the world with them._

 _We kept the charade going for a little before the decided to tell them they were just messing with them. They looked a little disappointed when they found out I was a importer of fine art and Nicky was a architect._

 _Nicky was telling a story about the time she fought a bully, when a new voice came into the story from behind. "It seems you always leave out the part where it wasn't you who knocked Jeremy out, it was me… I knocked him out while you bit him in the calf."_

 _Nicky smirked and turned, "Way to ruin my story Chapman."_

 _I smiled at the two girls basically dismissing them before turning around to see who this famous Chapman person was. To say I was stunned would be a understatement. Chapman wasn't pretty she was fucking gorgeous. I let my eyes start at her heeled feet, up her toned runners, legs, to her flat stomach, to her perfectly perky tits, to her soft thin lips, her perfect button nose, ocean blue eyes, and long flowing blonde hair._

 _When I was done I looked back at her and smiled. It seemed she noticed my appraisal and turned to me and asked, "So how much am I worth?"_

 _I blinked and asked, "I'm sorry, what?"_

 _She laughed and it was music, "Well with your detailed observation I figured I was one of your high priced art pieces you are trying to sell. So how much? I'm thinking at least a mil."_

 _I smiled and shook my head, "Invaluable. No monetary value could ever be worth you."_

 _She smirked and shyly smiled, "Good answer. You must be Vause. I'm Piper, sorry Chapman."_

 _I laughed and said, "Just the truth. And it's Alex."_

 _She extended her hand and said, "Nice to meet you, Alex. I've heard a lot about you, and the trouble you two get into."_

 _Piper, Nicky, and I spent the rest of the night talking and drinking. I learned that Piper was in business, something about a very successful organic soap business, and that she is in the city for the IPO announcement and to start up the headquarters. Her favorite drink is a margarita, and she loves the beach._

 _When it was closing time, I didn't want to go, I wanted to keep talking and getting to know Piper._

 _Piper got up and went to the bar to close her tab, while Nicky and I went to the bathroom._

 _When Nicky and I were standing at the sinks Nicky turns to me and says, "She's off limits."_

 _I look at Nicky and lift a eyebrow, "What?"_

 _Nicky turns to me, and this is the most serious I've ever seen her, "I'm serious. Piper, she is not just a girl. She's family, my family. Don't pursue her if you just want to fuck. Be her friend but don't fuck her and use her. Because if you hurt her I will have to actually kick your sasquatch ass."_

 _I nodded, "Ok. But I like her Nic. Honestly, I like her."_

 _Nicky nodded, "Alright, but I'm serious Vause. Don't hurt her, don't break her little blonde heart."_

* * *

I woke up suddenly on the couch. Trying to figure out what woke me up. Then I heard it again the sound of my door being pounded on. I groaned and stood up. I looked at my phone and realized that I must have slept all night on the couch. It was Saturday, who could be at my door at 8:30am?

I walked to the door and looked through the peep hole. Standing there was Nicky. I quickly undid the lock and opened the door.

Nicky walked in and said, "You look like shit."

I nodded, "Thanks."

Nicky paced for a second in front of the couch and then stopped, she turned and looked at me with serious eyes, "I want to know what the actual fuck you were thinking. I have never seen you, or Piper for that matter, happier. Why did you do it?"

I walked to the coffee table and sat on the edge while Nicky sat on the couch. I tried to find the words, "… I was scared, terrified. I fell for Piper, hard and fast. I have never felt love like this for anyone.. ever, besides my mom. I had a bad day, the painting wasn't going to be shipped on time and I was stressed. I called Piper but, she didn't answer. So I went to the diner around the corner. There were no open tables and the girl invited me to sit. So I sat down ordered my food and ate. At first we didn't say anything. Then she asked what was wrong, I told her and I felt better, just venting. I finished, thanked her for the table and for listening, paid, and headed to the door. Then she stopped me. She kissed me and I figured if I could do this then maybe I didn't love Piper as hard as I thought. That maybe she hadn't just stolen my heart. But as soon as we were back at the apartment, it felt wrong. I was going to stop but she just kept going. I figured the faster I could get her off the faster I could get rid of her. I hated every minute, and I hated myself. I didn't think you guys were coming over."

Nicky ran a hand threw her hair, "You are seriously fucked up, you know that right." I just nodded. "Alex, she loves you."

I smiled faintly, "Do you think she would give me a second chance?"

Nicky hung her head, "Against my wishes, yeah. She probably will. Knowing her, she will forgive you. Just give her a few days…"

I nodded I could wait a few days, I didn't have a choice.

Nicky then pointed at me, "But you hear me Alex. If you EVER do anything like this again I will kill you. I would wear orange for Piper. You get me?"

I nodded, "There won't be another time. I swear Nicky I love her."

Nicky stood up and headed to the door, "She's away for work ,she'll be back in 2 weeks."

I nodded and walked her to the door, "Thank you Nicky." She just nodded and punched me in the shoulder once hard.

I grabbed my shoulder in pain and lifted an eyebrow. She shrugged, "That's for hurting her. Don't do it again, or it won't be your shoulder."

She left and I closed the door. Wednesday… 14 days. I can wait 14 days.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Again italics section is a memory/dream.

* * *

This is the longest 2 weeks ever! Thank God Pipes is coming home today. According to Nicky she and her business team should be on the road right about now.

I've sent her over a dozen text messages, she has read all of them but hasn't responded.

The last message I sent was a 'good morning' text about an hour ago. read. It was now 8:30am. I checked again and this time there were those 3 grey dots.

I held my breath and waited for her reply. My phone vibrated and I looked down, " _Morning Al. I think we need to talk. I should be home by 11am."_

I smiled and texted back, " _Of course. I really do want to talk with you."_

She messaged back almost instantly and said, " _Same.._ "

Before I could think of anything else to say she sent another message, " _I miss you…"_

I smiled and said, " _I miss you too. More than you know"_

When I put my phone down I smiled. 9:00am. 2 hours… just 2 hours..

I laid on the couch and thought back to the first time that I admitted that I missed Piper when she went away on business.

* * *

 _I was sitting in my home office trying to get these import dates right so the museum would have the paintings in time for their new exhibit; but I couldn't focus. I kept looking at the clock on the wall counting down the minutes until Piper would be back._

 _I groaned and slammed my laptop shut. Maybe I needed a change of scenery. I grabbed my laptop and a few files before throwing them into a bag and heading out to the diner around the corner._

 _I had just finished eating and was finally getting work done when someone sat down across from me. I didn't want company so I said, "I'm kinda working right now, could you please find another table?"_

 _The person didn't leave, just leaned back._

 _I sighed and lifted my glasses onto my head closing my screen just a little to see who was sitting across from me. I was about to tell them to leave when I realized that the person across from me was none other than Piper._

 _Piper was smirking and said, "So you want me to go huh? And here I thought my girlfriend would miss me."_

 _I smiled but shrugged my shoulders, "Nah… But I have missed the sex."_

 _Piper blushed and smiled._

 _I grabbed my things and paid for my food. As we were walking back to the loft I grabbed Piper's hand and linked our fingers. The move seemed natural. When we reached the loft I let Piper in first and locked the door behind us._

 _I heard Piper put her bag down and take off her heels._

 _I watched as Piper bent over and took off her heels, how she walked barefoot into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water._

 _She knew I was watching her, she slowly drank her water and licked her lips afterwards. She turned to me a smirked before finishing her water._

 _I walked into the kitchen and placed my hands on her shoulders, then down her back and over her hips. I could feel her shiver and lean back oh so slightly._

 _I moved her hair to the side and kissed that perfect expanse of skin from her ear all the way down to her collar bone. I saw her hands grip the sink a little harder, and smirked._

 _I nipped at her earlobe and slowly moved my hands to the front of her pants. I undid the button and pulled the zipper down. I groaned when I realized that Piper was wearing my favorite pair of black lace boy-shorts._

 _Piper then turned her head up towards me and kissed the under side of my jaw. She kissed and nibbled her way up my jaw to my lips. I have never been so excited to simply kiss someone, but Piper was teasing. Every time our lips were about to touch she would pull back, smile, and bite her lip knowing how it drives me crazy._

 _When I couldn't take it anymore I smashed our lips together trying to show Piper just how much I missed her without saying the words._

 _Piper was smiling into our kiss knowing she won this round of teasing. My tongue begged for entrance and was immediately granted. Something about Piper's taste was so unique, so good, so addicting._

 _Our kiss started off slow and leisurely but then Piper bit my lip hard and soothed the pain away with her tongue._

 _I was about to pull her to the bedroom when she turned in my arms and wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me in closer. When we broke apart for air she pressed our foreheads together and whispered against my lips, "Fuck me, hard. Fuck me like you missed me, we can do soft and slow later but right now I need you."_

 _That was all it took. I smirked and said, "Your wish is my command." I quickly grabbed Piper by the back of the legs and lifted her up, as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I quickly turned and almost ran to the bedroom._

 _She was biting my neck and it was taking everything in me to not fuck her on every flat surface I could find._

 _When I got into the room I walked straight to the bed and dropped her down, smiling as she giggled._

 _I quickly took off her pants as she unbuttoned her shirt. I looked down at the semi naked goddess in my bed and had to take a breath. Piper then moved herself up towards the headboard and used her index finger to call me over._

 _I know my underwear are ruined, but I could care less. I took off all my clothes as I watched Piper unhook her bra and drop it down the side of the bed. I couldn't take it anymore so I grabbed Piper by her legs and pulled her down until her back was on the bed and her legs were spread open for me._

 _I could see the wet spot on her boy-shorts and grinned. She might have won the first round of teasing but I always win._

 _I leaned over her settling my hips against hers. I kissed her newly exposed nipples and sucked them until they hardened in my mouth. Her moans were intoxicating, better than any drug. I gently stroked her thigh as I kissed my way up to her lips._

 _Piper's hips lifted off the bed every time I let my fingers get close to her wet pussy. When she finally had enough teasing she begged, "Please…"_

 _I wanted her to say it, "Please what baby? Tell me."_

 _Piper groaned and tightened her hold on the sheets, "Please, inside. Please I want you, I want your fingers. Please."_

 _I had to make myself breathe because hearing those words coming from Piper's mouth almost had me cumming._

 _I finally let my fingers come in contact with Piper's pussy, but made sure to touch her through the lace. Piper's hips were lifting more and more begging for more friction. When I felt she had been tortured enough I grabbed her boy-shorts and slowly dragged them down her legs._

 _I couldn't help the moan when I saw how soaked Piper was for me, "God Pipes, Is this all for me baby?"_

 _Piper couldn't speak but nodded. I laid on my stomach and could see Piper's engorged clit, just waiting to be teased. I waited until Piper was going to say something, to finally taste her. When my tongue tasted Piper's juices I almost came on the spot. Piper's hips jerked as her back lifted off the bed._

 _I wrapped my arms around Piper's toned thighs and held her in place, "mmmmm… don't run away. We're just getting started."_

 _I teased Piper's hole before thrusting my tongue in as far as it could go. I loved the taste of Piper, she tasted like Lavender and Vanilla, and something just Piper._

 _Piper's hand flew to the headboard as I replaced my fingers with my tongue. Piper was barely saying words by this point._

 _I could tell Piper was going to cum soon, with the way her pussy clutched at my fingers and her breathing became more and more shallow._

 _Right as she was about to cum I slowed my pace. Piper cried out, "ALEX! Please, I need it."_

 _I smiled and looked up at her. Her eyes were a aroused navy blue, gone was the typical ocean blue eyes. "Need what Pipes?"_

 _Piper groan and tightly grabbed her hair, "Cum, I need to cum. Alex please.. Ale…."_

 _Before she could finish I sucked her hard clit into my mouth and set a furious pace with my fingers._

 _Piper was so close, "Please don't stop. Don't fucking stop Alex!"_

 _Alex smirked and looked at Piper, "Come for me… That's it. Cum for me baby."_

 _Piper tried to scream but her voice was lost. Both of Piper's hands came down and tangled in my hair holding me in place. Piper's mouth was open but no sound came out._

 _Piper's orgasm was one of the best, if I do say so myself. Her pussy was squeezing my fingers so tight that I thought they were going to lose all the circulation. As her orgasm died down I gently slowed my tongue and fingers._

 _When Piper's back finally hit the bed again she was breathing hard with her arm thrown over her eyes._

 _I kissed my way up her body and bit her neck._

 _Piper brought her hand to my cheek and pulled my lips towards hers. The kiss again started slow and gentle but soon became a fight for dominance. Piper's legs came up and wrapped around my waist, then mustering strength from somewhere rolled me onto my back._

 _Piper smiled down at me in triumph. She slowly began kissing her way down my body. By the time she got to my breasts I was a panting, groaning, mess. She gently circled my nipples with her fingers but didn't actually touch them. She then bent down and blew a stream of cold air, making my already hard nipples rock solid. "Piper!"_

 _She just chuckled and looked up, "Yes?" I groaned and watched her lean back when I thought I was going to feel that hot wet mouth she pinched my nipples with her fingers making my jerk and cry out._

 _I was close to cumming right there. She eased the pain with her tongue, finally. She made sure I knew what she was about to do because she flicked her tongue over my nipples the same way she does when she eats my pussy. God it was so fucking good._

 _I couldn't take anymore and put my hands on her head gently pushing her down to where I wanted her to be._

 _She chuckled and started to descend. When she reached my pussy she licked her lips and smiled up at me, "This all for me Alex?"_

 _I groaned and said, "YES. Now please! Please."_

 _Piper smiled and quickly sucked my clit into her mouth and thrust two long slim fingers into my pussy. "FUCK PIPER!"_

 _She kept her pace, while I basically fucked myself on her tongue and fingers. She had me screaming her name in a matter of moments. "PIPER! YES! Don't Fucking Stop!"_

 _She brought me down slowly letting me come back to my senses. She slowly kissed up my body and straddled my thigh. I could feel her wet heat on my leg and it was turning me on all over again._

 _I guided her hips so she could rub against me. She shifted her position just slightly and I thought I was going to pass out. I could feel her clit against mine rubbing perfectly. She rolled her hips making the perfect friction and I couldn't help myself; I too started moving under her._

 _I could see her eyes roll back and back arch as she came, and that image was what sent me over the edge._

 _Her hips slowed as did her breathing as she rolled off of me and onto her side. When I could move my body I pulled her closer to me and wrapped my arm around her waist. She sighed in content and said, "I really did miss you."_

 _I kissed her temple and whispered into her ear, "I really missed you too."_

 _This was the first time I ever actually said I missed her._

 _She rolled onto her other side so she was now facing me. She looked up at me with those heart stopping blue eyes and asked "Really?"_

 _I smiled and nodded, "Really."_

* * *

Great now I was missing Piper and turned on.. I looked at the clock, 12:45pm. Fuck. I checked my phone to see if I had any missed calls from Piper. Nothing… Maybe she's just running late, or in traffic or something.

Ugh, when did I become one of those girls that hangs around a phone waiting for a call? Right when I messed the fuck up and am now groveling for forgiveness.

I looked around my loft and decided to just clean up a little, kill some time.

I turned my stereo on and turned up the volume as Jimi Hendrix's Purple Haze played throughout the house.

I was finishing up some dishes when there was a knock at my door. I looked at the clock and realized that it was 1:30pm. What if that was Piper? Shit.. I must look like crap.

I quickly walked to the door and opened it fully expecting it to be Piper. But instead Nicky was standing there.

I stepped to the side allowing Nicky in and said, "Hey, ummm.. I'm kinda waiting on someone.. Um.. Piper. She's supposed to call me when she gets in. Can this wait?"

Nicky had her back to me. She looked at the ceiling and released a slow breath. She kept her back turned almost like she was avoiding eye contact, "Piper is umm…"

I walked to Nicky and stood in front of her. Something was wrong, her hands were clenched in fists and her eyes were red and welling with tears, "What? Piper's what?"

Nicky still didn't look up at me, "Piper's in the hospital Alex."

I felt like I was just hit by a train, I took a step back and asked, "What?"

Nicky finally glanced looked me in the eyes and said, "The fuck tard driving them back from the meeting this morning fell asleep at the wheel. They were hit head on. I… I figured you would want to go to the hospital or to at least know. I tried calling but you didn't answer."

I felt like everything was spinning Nicky was speaking but her words were getting harder and harder to hear. I saw her take a step and reach out her hand. I felt her touch my arm and call my name.

I blinked and looked at her, "I… But we were going to talk…."

Nicky nodded and said, "Come on Vause."

I allowed Nicky to lead me, I didn't care how I looked anymore. I just wanted to see Piper.

* * *

Nicky got us a cab and told him the address of the hospital asking him to step on it.

The cab ride was only about 10 minutes but it felt like an eternity. Nicky got out first and pulled on my arm.

I followed Nicky through the hospital looking for Piper. Nicky stopped outside of a door and looked through the window. There was a nurse in the room checking the screen and administering something into the IV. I took me a second to realize that the reason we stopped was because the person in that hospital bed was Piper.

When I finally realized who it was I felt sick. I put my hand on the glass window and clutched my chest. Nicky seemed frozen as well.

I don't know how long we were like that but it was the nurse who asked if we were ok. Nicky asked, "How is she?"

The nurse sighed and with a thick Brooklyn accent said, "It's touch and go right now. The next few hours after surgery are the most prudent."

I lost the last little breath I had. Surgery? Piper had surgery and no one was there. She was alone? "Su…Surgery?"

The nurse looked from Nicky to me. Nicky licked her lips and said, "This is Piper's girlfriend.. Alex."

The nurse nodded sympathetically, "I'm sorry, I thought you knew. Ms. Chapman underwent emergency surgery to repair internal bleeding around the abdomen and lungs."

Nicky asked something about chances but my attention was now on the person that walked out of the room next to Piper's

It was a man late 20's, curly brown hair, and a ill fitting suit. He was crying and apologizing. There was a man behind him who looked like his father guiding his fawn home.

Nicky noticed my gaze and looked in the same direction. Nicky growled and yelled, "What the fuck are you doing here? You almost kill them and now you're here to what, say you're sorry?! My best friend, my sister is in this hospital bed because of you!"

I finally realized who this piece of shit was, "It's your fault? You did this to her?!"

"Larry, Larry come on. Lets go." But the boy still stood there crying.

"Dad wait. I need to say this. I am so sorry. It was only a few seconds, we were so close to home."

I clenched my fists, "You're sorry?! My girlfriend could die and you're sorry!"

The kid looked like he just shit his pants, "You're…"

I couldn't take his voice anymore. It seems my body now had a mind of its own and decided to deck this piece of shit in the face.

He grabbed his now bloody nose and said, "Ow.. Fuck that hurt."

Nicky grabbed me and pulled me away and sternly said, "Alex, calm down. Trust me I know you want to, I do too."

Larry then turned towards us. Now nasally he said, "Wait you're Alex?"

I nodded and seethed, "What's it to you?"

The kid recoiled and said, "Piper said she forgave you. That's what she said before everyone was taken away. She wanted to make sure someone named Alex knew she forgave her."

I held my hand over my mouth and turned around, I tried to get my thoughts in order but it wasn't working. Every time I took a breath my heart ached. Piper forgave me but I still might be too late.

Nicky told the kid and his father to get the fuck out and to not come back. The both heeded the warning and quickly left.

Nicky walked over to me put her hand comfortingly on my shoulder, "Congrats Vause, don't fuck up the second chance."

I shook my head, "What if I don't get a second chance? What if that fucker took away my second chance!"

Nicky then got right into my face and pointed at Piper, "Don't you dare give up on her. She will make it through this. She is one of the toughest people I know. Don't you fuckin dare give up on her!" Nicky then took a step back and ran a hand through her hair, "I'm going to get a coffee. I'll bring you one. Just go in there. Let her know you're here."

I nodded and watched her disappear down the hallway.

I looked back at Piper through the window and took a deep breath. I made my way to the door and quietly opened the door.

There were two chairs around Piper's bed, one on each side. I took the one on her left leaving the other for when Nicky returns.

I slowly sat down and just looked at her. Her face was littered with bruises and cuts, and she was hooked up to so many machines.

I scooted my chair forward so I could be closer. I hesitantly reached out and took her hand. I interlocked our fingers and kissed her knuckles.

She loves when I do that, it always makes her smile and blush. But this time there was no reaction, no twitch of a smile not even a finger.

I leaned forward in my chair and pushed her blonde hair out of her face. I gently kissed her temple and said, "Pipes, It's me.. It's Alex. I'm here ok. I'm here. I need you, I need you to wake up. I had messed up and I know, but please.. baby I need you to wake up so I can do all the things I need to do to prove to you how sorry I am. I need to tell you everything, I need to tell you I lo…"

Then the door opened. I didn't want to say those words for the first time to Piper and have someone else over hear. I wanted Piper to be the only one. Forever."

It was Nicky and the nurse for before. The nurse gave me another sad smile and said, "Sorry, I just need to check her levels."

I nodded and was about to stand to move out of her way when she walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder, "You're fine."

I slowly sat back down and focussed back on Piper. As the nurse finished and turned and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name."

The nurse smiled and said, "Lorna Morello. But Lorna's fine." I nodded and said, "Thank you. For taking care of her."

Nicky then smirked and said, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind you taking care of me."

Lorna blushed and quickly said, "No problem." before she walked out of the room leaving a smirking Nicky behind.

I looked at Nicky and shook my head. Nicky then chuckled and said, "What?! Chapman would have told me to go for it anyway!"

I just smiled knowing she was right. Nicky then leaned forward and said, "Good job Chapman. I mean if you gotta hurt might as well have a hot nurse right?! Now wake up so I can properly embarrass you, and make you turn that funny shade of red."

I listened as Nicky told Piper all about her day and about how she was having problems keeping all her hookups from accidentally meeting one another.

We had been sitting for a few hours just talking at Piper, but nothing seemed to stir her.

Lorna came back checking on her vitals again and said, "Everything is looking pretty good so far. If she makes it through the night then it's only a matter of her waking up."

We both waited as long as we could but the doctors were now kicking us out saying that visiting hours are over and only immediate family could be inside.

As Nicky and I said our goodbyes, I kissed Piper on the forehead and whispered, "I love you" so only she could hear me.

We let Piper's room and were on the elevator when I asked, "I know Piper's dad died, but what about her mother or her brothers. Why aren't they here?"

Nicky sighed, "Well her mother is in Europe right now with her newest toy, Danny her older brother hasn't even answered my calls, and Cal doesn't handle these things well. I think he's scared if he sees her now it means he isn't ever going to see her again, and he doesn't want to remember his sister that way. I mean he and Piper watched their father die. Traumatizing shit."

I nodded now understanding a little more why Piper refuses to speak about her family or her past.

Nicky and I hailed cabs and agreed to meet back here tomorrow in the afternoon.

I would be here with or without Nicky. I wouldn't mess this up.

* * *

It's been 3 weeks and still nothing. According to the doctors there is nothing physically wrong, that Piper just has to wake up on her own time.

By this point most of the staff knew both Nicky and I and made sure they stopped in to check on Piper and to just say hello.

Nicky was no longer able to visit during the day since she needed to get back to work. Luckily I was able to work anywhere there was internet.

I had just finished finalizing the shipment for the history museum when Lorna came in. "Hey Alex. How are you?"

I smiled and responded, "I'm good. Just finalized some details for work and everything should be smooth from here on out."

Lorna smiled and said, "I'm glad. Me, Nicky, and a few of the other nurses were going to go to the bar around the corner, did you want to come?"

I sighed and looked at a still unconscious Piper. Lorna placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "How about I come back when my shift is over in about 20 minutes and you can let me know then."

I nodded and waited for her to close the door. I saw Lorna clock out and gather her things, I figured what's one night out drinking with other opposed to drinking alone in my apartment.

I packed up my stuff and told Lorna I was going, if she could just wait a minute.

I picked up Piper's hand and kissed her on the head, as I do every night, and then leaned down and whispered "I love you."

I gently placed her hand on the bed and turned to walk away, but this time I heard it back, "ove ou oo."

I stopped dead in my tracks. Lorna was looking at me with questioning eyes. I slowly turned around and saw the ocean blue eyes I had been waiting to see for almost a month. I've never been so happy to see her eyes open, "Piper? Oh my God."

I bent down and quickly kissed Piper on the lips. I didn't care that I was crying or that her lips were a little dry. Piper was awake.

When I pulled back I pressed our foreheads together and said, "I love you. I love you so much. I won't ever let a day go by without telling you. I am so sorry that I didn't tell you before, that I doubted it before."

Piper brought her hand up to my cheek and shhhed me, "It ok al. I fgive you. bt nevr agn."

I shook my head, "Never I swear. Never again."

I then pushed the nurses button calling Lorna and a few other nurses from the night staff into Piper's room.

* * *

Piper's doctor checked on her and said she would be up and moving normally again in a matter of weeks.

I decided to skip the bar and to call Nicky to the hospital.

Nicky came running down the hallway, "Vause! Everything ok? She ok?"

Alex lifted her head from Piper's bed and looked at Nicky. Piper then opened her eyes and said, "Do my eyes deceive me, or did Nicky Nichols just run?"

Nicky gasped and ran over to Piper pulling her into a tight hug. Alex knew Nicky missed her best friend. Nicky gave Piper a kiss on the cheek and a slap on the arm. "The kiss was for waking up, the slap was for almost dying in the first place!"

Piper smiled and said, "Sorry. Didn't mean to cause you so much stress."

Nicky and I caught Piper up on all the things that had been going on recently. Nicky noticed how Piper and I kept looking at each other and decided to excuse herself to go talk with Lorna. She gave Piper and hug goodnight and promised to come back tomorrow.

When Nicky left she closed the door, giving us our privacy.

I turned to Piper and said, "I think it's time we had that talk."

Piper nodded, "I think so too."

Piper started to speak but I cut her off, "No, Pipes. I need to say this first." I waited until she nodded to continue, "I messed up. I got scared of my feeling and I ran to the one thing I knew would hurt you and test my true feelings towards you. I am so sorry. I shouldn't have slept with her, I should have talked to you, trusted you, loved you, and you alone. I swear to you though, I will never ever do anything to purposely hurt you. I am so sorry. I don't want to ever have to go a day without being able to tell you I love you. And I never want to know what it's like to have you leave my life and never come back. I just want a second chance, and I will never ask for a third. I love you. I love you more than I have ever loved someone. Please say you forgive me."

Piper looked at me and held her hand out. I stood up and walked over to her. She pulled my hand, pulling me closer to her. When I bent down Piper used her other hand to cup my cheek. She brought her lips just out of reach. I thought she was going to kiss me when the slap sounded throughout the room. My cheek burned but before I could stand up right she had her lips attached to mine.

She slowly pulled back and said, "I forgive you now. But you ever cheat again we are over, for good. No third chances Alex. Is this what you really want? Do you want me?"

I nodded and said, "Yes. I'm sure."

Piper then smiled and kissed me again. The kiss was slow and sweet. When I pulled back Piper smiled and said, "And I love you too. Even when you mess up."

My hand was tugged again and this time it was to lay in bed next to Piper. Piper looked at me and said, "Come be my big spoon". Careful of her IV I laid on my side and pulled her into me. I wrapped my arm tightly but carefully around Piper's waist and kissed under her ear.

Just before she drifted back to sleep I whispered, "I love you."

I knew I was right. I knew Nicky and my Ma would be happy for me. I knew I was happy. I knew all of this and that was all that seemed to matter in that moment.


End file.
